Giving, getting…

It can be irritating around December-time. How can it be fun to find just the right gift for your loved-one when you have to deal with the frantic crowds on the roadways rushing to the malls, the cranky people having come from the traffic now madly navigating through the stores, and the frustrated over-worked employees helping all those “negative Nancy’s”?

What really gets some folks this time of year is the constant requests for charity. There are people who really hate the bell ringers and the appeals. Luckily, I haven’t had the misfortune of running into too many of them!  But it is hard not to see the darker side of what is supposedly the “giving” season.

During this time of year, try to focus on a feeling of pride for our society for having so many charities. It is unfortunate that people suffer and cannot fully provide for themselves, but isn’t it great that there are so many who make it a point to organize and help those struggling people? That is special, rare… and one of the best bits of human nature. Take a moment to be grateful that we are exempt from needing that assistance. Indeed, many of us are blessed enough to be giving gifts to our families and friends this time of year!  

But even still, we all (hopefully) have the privilege of being surrounded by the warmth of loved ones–the whole reason for these gift-exchanges in the first place! We are lucky enough to be met with awesome individuals who spend their spare time ringing a bell, running a marathon in the brisk cold, or giving their money or time to philanthropic organizations. Truly, at this time of year, we are in the best kind of company.

Happy holidays, happy solstice, happy New Year!

Jar full o’ cookies

  

Homemade Gifts in a Jar by SquawkFox.com (image copyright: Squawkfox.com)

A lot of people get married for the gifts and the party. My husband and I got married because we loved each other–you know, all those warm fuzzy reasons you say the “I do’s”.  For us, the gifts and the little party were the awesome bonuses that made it feel extra special and meaningful.  

That got me thinking… it’s a tough time of year. Many people cannot afford to give gifts for the holidays or for special events.  But there are a lot of things you can do instead. It is (or should be) the thought that matters most. These days, taking the time to congratulate someone, or send them a thoughtful note/gift, means a great deal when there seems to be so much to do and pay attention to. 

Here is a list of ideas that may take your time, but take much less money: 

For a romantic gift: 

• Arrange a romantic night for your significant other: candles, a hot bath, a foot/body massage, cooking their favorite meal….
• Fill an envelope of coupons for your friend, roomie, or loved one. (good for anyone!) Some coupon ideas could be: doing the dishes for a week, veto of a movie pick, cooking dinner for a week, cleaning the house–top to bottom, a relaxing foot massage, an evening free from watching the kids for much-needed “me” time…. You get the idea.I did this for Jake, and he is saving them to use over years and years!
• Give them a whole day where they don’t have to “do” anything they don’t want to–you take all the stress, all the tasks and chores, everything!
• One year I made a huge jar of 2 dozen pickled eggs for my guy–he loved them! Only cost me 5 bucks!

For a friend or loved one: 

• Make cookie, granola, or soup mixes in a jar. (Click the above picture for great suggestions from www.SquawkFox.com)
• Make a phone call to someone you have been planning to chat with for ages.  Talking with someone ”live” is so much more meaningful than a typical gift bought at a big box store, or a brief email or text message.
• Design a handmade card just to say, “I’m thinking about you.”
• Bake a homemade batch of cookies, fudge, or other sweets.
• Make a homemade ornament for their tree.
• Do them a favor: watch their kids for a night, or maybe help them unpack those boxes from their move a year ago!
• Invite them over for dinner and play games or visit.
• Create a small photo album with pictures they would enjoy–or a disc would do too!
• Compile a care package if they are having a tough time, or moving. Fill it with silly things: a can of soup, a box of cereal, dried fruit, an old nostalgic photo, a little letter,… comfort items.
• Make a scrap-book for them (My sister-in-law made me one of these my first year I moved far far away. It made me cry!).
• Compose a mix CD of your favorite tunes.

For a special event: 

• Write a hand-written note to the person you wish to congratulate. When we got married, there were folks who conveyed their congratulations in really thoughtful, sincere notes and cards. Those meant the world to us–just to know they were giving us their support and affection.
• Give them a basket of local goodies/fresh produce.
• Find a great, affordable antique or vintage item from a local shop or flea market.
• Give them something of yours that is heirloom, or treasured–maybe they always wanted it. My aunt gave me a 20-year-old cookie jar from her collection! My friend hand-embroidered towels and hand-sewed a quilt!!

Sometimes it’s the things that cost the least that mean the most, because you put your time and heart into it. Truly grateful and loving people are always most touched by a thoughtful effort–no matter the cost!

Clean, heated water

I bet a lot of you were asked, or thought about, what you were grateful for this time of year. The turkey, the pie! Family, friends, a job…. Personally, I’m thankful for clean, heated water every morning. So nice in the winter months and many aren’t so lucky. But whatever we are thankful for, our minds collectively and very quickly (say, by 4 AM on Black Friday) turn to what we don’t have, what we want, and what we expect to get in the next 30 days.

I suppose it is only natural to think of what we want. I remember my childhood bedtime prayer: Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, guide me safely through the night, and wake me with the morning light.   But my mother also included a section in our night-time prayers for what we were thankful for, which always followed our requests: blessings for our loved ones, friends and neighbors. It seems to be a habit, a mindset: be grateful and you might be more likely to get what you ask for. Not bad logic really. It’s better than just expecting to get everything and being thankful for none of it.

But I have an idea. Let us extend  the “grateful for’s” this season. When we sit this December perusing the aisles, looking over websites and magazines, cultivating lists of desired items that we may or may not need, let us keep a steady thought on just everything we do have. Think of all the loved ones which surround us who care enough to give a gift this year. Think how lucky we are to have the income to buy frivolous things. Think of the privileges and comforts we have in our society that many communities in the world struggle to attain. These are things to be especially grateful for not just one day out of the year, but every day of our lives.  

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice. (somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009.

Share the road

It was a beautiful day. Sunny sky, sixty degrees in the northeast in November. Gorgeous. I had woken up early and gotten so much work done. Just off to the store for a few odds and ends… dental floss, facial tissues, and shampoo. We parked our car, and should have sensed it then–the frenzy, the cars jetting through the parking lot. But we didn’t.

No, we didn’t get run into while driving. (Had ya guessing though, didn’t I?) But as we walked to the store, two women approached on the same sidewalk. My husband and I naturally moved to single-file walking, and expected the other women to do the same. But they didn’t. They kept walking side by side. I was determined not to surrender the half of the sidewalk to which I was entitled. So I continued walking. But in the game of pedestrian “chicken,” I lost and got my goose cooked. My husband and I were rudely, mindlessly shoved onto the roadway, into traffic. Not cool. 

So for those of you who share the sidewalks like we share the roads (stay to the right, walk single-file with oncoming traffic), right on! And if you don’t, well, do try in the future. It’s an easy courtesy and one that takes almost no effort!

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice. (somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009

Funny honey

Another piece of wedding advice I received from my aunts and grandmothers, which I think is one of the most important elements to a healthy marriage is this: 

When times are stressful, when times get difficult or tense, have a little humor. Make a joke, mention a funny memory, point out the oddity of the situation–the irony. Have a little fun with each other–something you can count on to lighten the mood. Humor can heal all sorts of wounds, hurts, and anxieties.

On a cautious note, do remember to whom you are speaking. You wouldn’t want to pull a Sex and the City moment, where Charlotte can’t conceive a baby and her husband buys her a cardboard baby cut out as a joke. Probably not the best idea. Sometimes a well-meant joke can be taken as an insult or a slap in the face and worsen the experience.

Know your situation, know your partner, and know what’s appropriate. But know that humor can diffuse many emotional bombs–so it’s always worth a try!

 

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice. (somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009

A little surprise can brighten a day

Little notes filled with amorous words

My honey and I recently got hitched. It was a pretty great time, and we were blessed with a huge amount of family support. One of my favorite things was the advice that I was “showered” with for my bridal shower. All my aunts and grandmothers wrote me little tidbits of advice for a long happy marriage. My grandparents have been together for 55-60 years each. My aunts and uncles, 30 or so.

What was great about the advice was the surprise that my husband and I already do some of the things. A few times this year, I’ve been taken away on trips–one for business, one for family. We spend a lot of time together, as we have worked with one another (so to speak) for three years. When I left both times, I had the opportunity to slyly leave Jake little notes for him to find later.  A note in the coffee can, one on the TV, one on the computer, in the shower, on the fridge. Each one said something different–something sweet, cute, funny, and dirty (of course!). It was fun for him to find all the notes while I was gone–especially when one was evading him even upon my return! 

Lots of ways to say it

Little things like that show a person you are thinking about them. Thoughtful notes now and again, out of the blue, can really strengthen a relationship and keep it fun and interesting. Who knows what a well-placed and cleverly timed note could do for a marriage? 

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice. (somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009

New postcard: wash those hands folks!

Soap + H2O = Nice

 

Hope you enjoy this one! Easy way to be nice, isn’t it?

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice. (somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009.

Cleanliness is kindness

This post is in conjunction with the release of my newest postcard about washing hands. I thought up the postcard awhile ago, but it seems appropriate that it is being released now during the beginning of flu season.  Washing your hands is a conscientious thing to do in these germy times. While I do think some things take it too far (like anti-bacterial body wash and facial tissues), basic cleanliness and caution is always advisable. You never know if the person standing next to you might have some condition that makes them susceptible to illness, and while you may feel healthy, you may still have yucky germy-things that can make others sick.

Case-in-point: at my job, there is a woman who sits nearby that never covers her mouth when she coughs or sneezes. And she does it a lot!  Imagine all the germs that may be flung into the air each time she sneezes!  Or the women that leave the bathroom without washing their hands at work. EW. I know a person who is allergic to the hand soap in her work restroom, so she brings her own. Now that is considerate! So these non-handwashers have no excuse, wouldn’t you say?

But I think many of us believe that simply running our hands under some water (sans soap) will clean them up. This is not the case. My friend Mandy, a medical professional, explained to me that it is the friction that comes with hand-washing (plus the warm water and soap) that frees up the spores and whatnot attached to our skin, which makes our hands clean. This is the purpose behind the 15 second rule for hand washing. I had no idea. I thought that was a rule made up to get people to wash in general (ask for 15 seconds, and you’ll get the 5 seconds necessary–seemed to make sense). So I guess we all better do a stand-up job at hand washing. Remember, you can get yourself sick too by touching some communal item and then touching your face! Cleanliness helps everyone!

Below I have attached the CDC guidelines for proper hand washing. You can find the info here. For a cuter website with an awesome rubber ducky in its heading, check this link out: washinghands.net. This website is a great resource for all things handwashing related!

Steps to proper handwashing…

1. Hands should be washed using soap and warm, running water
2. Hands should be rubbed vigorously during washing for at least 20 seconds with special attention paid to the backs of the hands, wrists, between the fingers and under the fingernails
3. Hands should be rinse well while leaving the water running
4. With the water running, hands should be dried with a single-use towel
5. Turn off the water using a paper towel, covering washed hands to prevent re-contamination.

 

Hands should be washed after the following activities:

• After touching bare human body parts other than clean hands and clean, exposed portions of arms
• After using the toilet
• After coughing, sneezing, using a handkerchief or disposable tissue, using tobacco, eating or drinking
• After handling soiled equipment or utensils
• After food preparation, as often as necessary to remove soil and contamination and to prevent cross-contamination when changing tasks
• After switching between working with raw food and working with ready-to-eat food
• After engaging in other activities that contaminate the hands.

 

Note:  The VSP does not endorse the use of hand sanitizers in lieu of handwashing with soap and warm, running water.  Hand sanitizers containing 60-90% ethyl alcohol or isopropanol in concentration with equivalent sanitizing strength, may be used as an adjunct to proper handwashing.

 

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice. (somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009.

Amicable Allegory #7: Lost, found, returned

My last post, “500 bucks richer for a poor person“ is related to this post, except that this post is a more positive version of the subject!  (On a side note, thanks to Autumn for her comment requesting more positive entries. Though it is my aim to promote positivity, sometimes I go about addressing positivity by deliberating on how I can handle less positive interactions. Thank you Autumn for the reminder that all things are good–in balance. So, on with the positive!)

Yesterday, I was picking up some items at the mall conversing (as always) with the sales ladies about random things.  One of the women told me of a day when she found a wallet in a parking lot with a moderate amount of money in it. She Facebooked the guy and arranged to return it to him, she told me.  I was so impressed–and encouraged, especially after the $500 woman last week! I asked the sales lady then if the man had given her a reward or anything.  She said “No, but he was a student and I bet he didn’t have much to spare. — But the next week I was on campus and I found a 100 dollar bill on the ground!  I thought to myself–this is what good deeds get you!”  I have to say, I totally agree! Wouldn’t it be great if that happened to all of us!

Have you ever been so focused on what you’re going to do next that you don’t pay attention to what you’re doing at that moment?  My friend had gone grocery shopping one afternoon this summer and returned all the way home with her thoughts on the tasks awaiting her there when she realized she had left her purse in the cart in the parking lot!  In a panic she flew back to the supermarket, all-the-while thinking of what she had in her purse that could be stolen or misused.  She quickly walked to the customer service desk, anxiety growing in her mind. She budged in line (I imagine this was a pretty justifiable budge!) to ask after her purse and there it was, everything in tact!  She asked who had left it, but the worker said the woman had not left her information.  Thrilled, relieved, and grateful, my friend walked slowly back to her car wondering how she would ever thank the person for their kind deed.  That evening, she placed an ad in the local paper, saying simply, “To the kind woman who found my purse and returned it, thank you!” What I love about this story is that not only did someone do the right, kind thing, but my friend went out of her way to thank them for it, even when she did not know who it was!  Kind deeds become a little more special with a hardy “thank you!”

 

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice. (somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009.

500 bucks richer for a poor person

At work the other day, I was conversing with a lady about her first bus-riding experience, of which she shared her very unusual experience.  Only she and a blind man were riding the bus at the time when she noticed a wallet under a seat close by. She picked it up, inspected it, and found $500 inside. After an astonished pause, I asked, “Did they have an address in there to mail it to?” She replied, “Well, I called all the numbers in the wallet but none of them were in service, so I mailed it back to the person.” She then cackled and said, “But I kept the 500 bucks! I mean, he should be grateful just to get his wallet back.”

She kept the money. She. Kept. The. Money. ICK! She was so proud of herself for her profit from someone else’s misfortune. How do you respond to that?  Being at work I couldn’t react with the disgust and revulsion I felt, so I neutrally stated how happy he would be to have his wallet back, since it can be such a pain to replace personal documents. But inside I just could not believe that this woman would be so proud of taking some poor guy’s $500 that she would share it enthusiastically with a complete stranger.  I mean, she was delighted with herself. She thought she was the luckiest, smartest gal in the land. She had no idea what I was really thinking. What most anyone would be thinking. It was despicable. It was cold and pathetic.

It is one thing to find a dollar on the street with no evident owner and keep it. It is a whole other ordeal to know who the owner is and to rip him off anyways.  This kind of story, to me, is a reminder of how truly sad someone can be when they are poor in morals, decency, and in spirit.  I almost pity the woman for thinking that stealing $500 is something to brag about. Pity her for a bad upbringing, or for giving in to bad influences.  But, then, how can I pity someone so selfish and so heartless? Even when I’m trying to be nice to people, there is no room for that. At that point, it was hard to be civil. What disappoints me is how nice I thought she was at first, but then upon knowing this tale, I realized that she is the type of person I would never want to befriend….  When I think on the experience, I can only resolve to never do anything of that sort, and to raise my family with decency so they know to do the right thing in those situations. I can’t control that woman, but I can control my behavior. And if I ever lose my wallet, I hope to God she doesn’t find it!

 

© Be Nice. Creator and Be Nice.(somethingsonice.wordpress.com), 2008-2009.